Divorce is often an emotionally charged time, and there are many perfectly understandable reasons why you’d want to move out of the family home. The atmosphere might be tense, arguments might be continuing between you — you just need space to lower your stress levels. There’s also the tendency for men to feel as though the onus is on them to leave, and face a period of personal hardship, if it means their ex and kids have a safe space to stay.

It might seem like the ideal solution, but packing your things and heading out could be problematic for you.

• Choosing to remove yourself from the family space means that, by default, your children will be spending the majority of their time with their mother. In Florida, divorce courts generally don’t want to disrupt children’s lives in any significant way. If your kids are settled and safe at a home they’re familiar with, you’ll probably find that the custody arrangements fall in favor of your ex.
• In terms of division of property, your moving out can be interpreted as you having less of a need for the asset than your wife, who is still residing there. It will certainly be the goal of the courts to compensate you appropriately in the form of other marital assets; but it is likely your spouse will keep the house.

However difficult it may be, if there is no risk to yourself or your children, aim to remain at the property until the completion of the divorce. This helps to demonstrate that you’ve made every effort to maintain a respectful relationship, care for your kids, and assert ownership of the home. The key here is not to make any rash and impulsive decisions — take time to discuss the situation with your divorce attorney, who can help you understand your rights, and strategize your path forward.

We all like to think we’re capable of taking care of everything ourselves. Particularly for men during a divorce, we can fall into the trap of thinking that if we just do a little research we can figure it all out. This fierce independence has gotten us through some tight spots in the past; however, this is one scenario that it is an absolute must to seek out expert guidance.

Divorce today is more than simply agreeing to some basic terms and splitting everything down the middle. Even in amicable circumstances, each party may feel as though they are entitled to a different share of what has been accumulated as a couple. When children are involved, we might like to think that two grown adults can reach a reasonable agreement that makes certain that each parent takes an equal responsibility, and benefits from time with the kids. But custody is complex, and its circumstances may change to the extent that informal agreements between parents may be shirked, with little legal recourse in the aftermath.

By seeking out attorneys who specialize in divorce for men, you have the best chance of navigating the separation process fairly. Florida is renowned for falling down on the side of women during divorce, but it’s still possible for fathers to get custody in Florida. However, you’ll need to be guided by an advocate that has your best interests at heart at a time when it can feel as though there are few people in your corner.

A specialist in divorce for men is able to predict where problems may lie not just in the immediate future, but also years down the line, and help you make provisions accordingly. The right legal counsel can help enact faster divorce while minimizing the potential for mistakes that leave you with unfair burdens. They are not just your legal administrator, they are your guide, your negotiator, and your most passionate representative. There’s no need to go it alone.

It’s perfectly understandable that sometimes, during a divorce, you may find yourself to be angry and bitter — you put a great deal of yourself into your marriage, and whether you recognize it or not, you’re going through a period of grief. Nevertheless, even if you’ve moved out of the family home during the separation period, don’t stop paying the bills.

It may be the case that you both come to an agreement whereby utilities and such have been transferred to your spouse’s name if they are the only person resident at the property. In which case, all is well. Otherwise, keep paying as per your agreement with your creditors — even if your spouse is the only benefactor of those services, and refusing to transfer it into their name.

Here’s why:

• Any bill in your name, whether you are using it or not, is your legal responsibility. Divorce doesn’t change that.
• If you refuse to pay a bill and a service gets disconnected, this may be construed negatively by the courts. Depending on the type of service disconnected, this may be interpreted as a malicious or neglectful act.
• Mortgage payments, car payments, and jointly used credit card bills — whether or not they are in your name — are the usually the shared responsibility of both spouses during divorce proceedings. Keep issuing payments accordingly, and keep records of your contributions.

During the divorce negotiations it is imperative that you demonstrate that you have been acting responsibly, and making every effort to prevent further hardship. If you have been making bill payments for services that did not benefit you, this may be taken into account during any division of assets. If you have concerns about the fair distribution of bill payments, your divorce attorney will be able to provide you with advice on what strategies to take. Don’t stop paying until such time as it has been determined how responsibilities and assets will be divided.

Finances during a divorce can be complicated and complex. Most couples will have a joint bank account — a fact that may well help demonstrate the commitment you both had to your marriage. You may also each have individual bank accounts, alongside a variety of savings accounts, retirement accounts, and HSAs, to name a few.

No matter whose name any of these accounts are under, do not clear them out, or make any significant withdrawals.

Often, it is still the case that men seeking a divorce will be earning more than their spouse, if not providing all income. While you may consider it perfectly within your rights to withdraw funds that are in your name, this is not generally how it is viewed in the eyes of the law, particularly in Florida, where courts tend to rule in favor of wives and mothers. Removing funds from any of your accounts, particularly when your spouse relies upon your income, may even be considered abusive behavior, and exploitative of their vulnerability.

Before removing any significant amounts from any bank account, it is vital that you consult your divorce attorney. They’ll be able to provide you with practical advice on how to proceed within the boundaries of the law, and with a view to presenting your best case should the matter be brought to court. If you are concerned that your spouse might take advantage of a joint bank account, and withdraw large amounts of money, you can also be protected. Ask your lawyer about arranging an Automatic Temporary Restraining Order (ATRO) which will limit the amount that can be removed by either spouse before the accounts are eventually split. This can help provide you with peace of mind, and maintain your financial stability through the divorce process.

There are many complicated, stressful things to think about during divorce, and it may not even have occurred to you that insurance is an important factor to consider.

The first thing to remember is, when it comes to policies that cover both of you — whether this is vehicles, your home, and even your health — an insurance policy is considered to be a financial asset. This therefore must be accounted for when establishing your divorce settlement. It might seem sensible to make insurance arrangements that reflect your separated status, but without guidance this can be problematic.

With most joint insurance policies, where you are both listed as “named” on the policy, one partner cannot be removed without the consent of both parties. However, if one of you has moved out of the family home, it is important to at least inform your home insurance provider, as they can advise you both how this affects the terms of your policy and any property that may be covered outside of the home.

For health insurance policies, it’s important to remember that continuation of cover for a period of time may actually form part of the divorce settlement. Therefore, whether your spouse is covered under a policy provided by your employer, or a privately acquired service, don’t make any changes until advised to by your divorce attorney. Aside from the financial aspect, this could be misconstrued as an attempt to deprive your spouse of medical care, and may result in additional negative consequences for you.

Auto insurance issues really cannot be settled until such time as assets have been distributed, at which time you will need to make alterations to ownership documents, and make arrangements with your insurer with regard to named drivers accordingly. Remember, it is a legal requirement to have adequate insurance when driving a vehicle.

In today’s digital landscape, it has become part of our everyday lives to use social media. However, your actions leading up to your divorce can be taken into account during any negotiations or court appearances — including your behavior on social media. Therefore you need to be particularly careful with your online usage.

Nobody’s saying that you need to steer clear of social media entirely, but it is important to understand how what you post may be viewed during divorce proceedings.

• Don’t post negatively about your spouse. This should be an obvious one, but divorce can be an emotionally charged time for everybody involved, and a reckless tweet from your smartphone can reflect badly on you.
• Don’t block your spouse on social media. This can be viewed as an unwillingness on your part to make reasonable attempts at communication, particularly where children are concerned. A caveat to this is if you are in receipt of abuse from your spouse — in which case be sure to retain evidence of the abuse before protecting yourself accordingly.
• Don’t post photos of wild nights out, or showing off any new purchases; this may be construed as reckless financial behavior, and may affect any settlement.
• Don’t post pictures of you consuming alcohol around minors (yours or anyone else’s). Florida divorce courts tend to fall down on the side of mothers in custody issues, so no matter how little alcohol has been consumed, you don’t want to give the impression that you engage in risky behavior around children.

Your divorce attorney will be able to provide you with detailed advice on your social media use. A good rule of thumb is to treat your posts as though you are constantly under scrutiny — better yet, imagine that your judge asks to see your social media right there in the courtroom. Any actions that are recorded on a public forum are fair game as evidence against you in a divorce. Act accordingly.

Communication is important with any divorce, particularly where your children are concerned. As a caring father, you naturally want to reassure them about the circumstances of your separation, that they are going to be taken care of. Like many men seeking a divorce in Tampa, you want to protect your kids from the worst side effects. Beyond that, and the practicalities of how their time is being divided during separation, avoid discussing details of the divorce with your children.

Firstly, don’t get into the blame game. It might be necessary to reassure them that the divorce is not their fault, but that shouldn’t give you an opening to assign blame on your spouse, or yourself for that matter. This places your children in a difficult position that may affect their relationship with one of their parents — a situation frowned upon by the courts.

Don’t talk in a disparaging manner about your spouse. We know, it can be tempting — particularly if there is bad blood between the two of you — to let the occasional negative opinion slip. But remember, no matter what has happened in the marriage, you are both important to your kids. Divorce can be a complicated time for children, who may also feel as though they have to divide their loyalties.

Don’t defend yourself to your kids. They may well come to you with comments their mother has made about you in private to them. Whether or not these are true, don’t get angry, don’t argue your point — your children are not attempting to be malicious. Be the bigger person in this scenario, continue to co-parent in the same responsible way you have been. Stay calm, thank your children for their honesty. When in private, make a note of the details in order to provide it to your divorce attorney; they’ll be able to provide you with advice for the best route forward.

The key is to keep being their parent. Keep caring for them. Don’t stop behaving like the responsible, loving father that you are.

Divorce can be an expensive process, particularly if it is complex. The essential legal costs aside, it is important that you don’t take on any additional debt — both individually and as a separated couple. This can be a difficult aspect to get your head around, as there may well be additional costs incurred if it becomes necessary for you to move out of the family home, and such like.

When your separation period begins, agree with your partner to cease using any joint credit cards, store cards, and such like. Be certain to retain all bank statements and individual credit card statements, too — this way you can provide your divorce attorney with a full picture of debt accrued while the marriage was still in tact.

When it comes to separation of assets, it won’t just be your cash and property that will be divided, it will be your debts too. Marital debt will be distributed between the two of you, and may well be leveraged in favor of specific property. For example, your wife may receive the shared car, but also responsibility for a larger share of the joint debts. Running up additional debts during the separation period could be misconstrued as attempts to place additional undue financial burden on your spouse, and the courts may penalize you.

However, it’s worth bearing in mind that even if you have been assigned responsibility for a specific joint credit card debt after the divorce, this doesn’t give you free reign to keep adding to that debt. This will still show up on both your own and your spouse’s credit report and should be paid off as soon as possible, rather than added to over time.

Your divorce negotiations won’t last forever, and your attorney can arrange a much faster and smoother process if financial aspects are kept as simple as possible. There will come a point where you can move forward emotionally and financially. Until that time, it is wise to live frugally.

During your separation period, don’t openly date somebody else. The likelihood is that you’re not purposefully looking to jump straight into another relationship so soon after the end of your marriage. But let’s face it, you don’t always expect somebody new and important to you to come walking into your life. However, it is in your best interest to exercise a degree of restraint.

Flaunting your exciting new relationship is likely to make things pretty difficult with your spouse. No matter how amicable you believe your separation has been so far, dating someone so soon may well create some bad blood between you.This means that your spouse has little reason to keep things civil, and may well throw in additional complications or make additional demands. Wave your smooth settlement goodbye.

In the event that your spouse earns more than you, getting involved in a new relationship could also affect the settlement amount when it comes to spousal support. Even if you move in with your new partner soon after the end of the proceedings, this can be grounds for monthly payments arranged during the divorce to be withdrawn entirely.

Dating during divorce can also throw a wrench in the works if custody arrangements are still to be made. Your spouse may well object to exposing your children to an unfamiliar adult on a regular basis, and express concerns in court about what kind of step-parent your new partner may be. Men getting a divorce in Tampa are already faced with the problem that courts generally fall down on the side of mothers during custody cases, so it’s best to avoid this circumstance wherever possible.

If you find yourself in the midst of an unexpected relationship and are unsure of how best to handle it, discuss the matter frankly and openly with your attorney. They’ll be able to advise you of the most appropriate course of action, and build a strategy for moving forward.

The divorce process can be difficult for everybody involved. We always hope that it will be clean, simple, and can be completed quickly. The truth is it is often a stressful process, and can be complicated by disagreements about the division of assets, child custody, and — if you’re unlucky — a difficult former spouse. You may well at times find yourself emotionally exhausted, and ready to throw in the towel.

Men getting divorced in Florida have been led to believe that women should come out better off on the other side of a divorce. That mothers have more rights than fathers when it comes to custody arrangements has become a familiar aspect of our society today. It can certainly feel as though the entire system is against you, and that it might just be easier to give in to demands in favor of a quick divorce. The truth is, the reason many men don’t stand up and fight for their rights is because they don’t believe they have any.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

You have the right to an equitable division of your assets. You have the right not to be unfairly burdened by joint debt. You have the right to continue being a caring father, and be a constant presence in your childrens’ lives.

You just need to understand how to most effectively fight for these rights. Teaming up with a lawyer who specializes not just in family law, but representing husbands and fathers during a divorce will be the key to your success — and retaining your sanity. They will not just help you to devise a strategy as you move toward your divorce, but also guide you through the more complex aspects of your individual circumstances.

Men who give up on their rights during divorce or back down during the process may well have fallen victim to that sense of loneliness, injustice, and the lack of power that can occur at this difficult time in their lives. Your attorney is not just your legal expert, they also have your back. They understand your rights, and they are there to fight alongside you.

You are not alone. Keep fighting for your rights.